Loving Here, Missing There

01 Feb 2010 1 Comment

by magpiesandcowboys in Uncategorized

 

I suppose I could say that I’m still learning about myself.  More and more since leaving the nest that is Nanaimo, Im discovering things that I didnt think meant much to me, but really do. I’m figuring out what parts of me I miss, and what parts of me I’m glad that I’ve found.

My friend Mike sent me a message today. He said ” I miss you. We need to talk sometime! I feel really detached from you and it makes me sad =( Hope you’re still doing well! ♥”.  It kindof took me aback, and made me think a bit. I have been feeling REALLY detached from everyone who isnt directly in front of me. I’m getting to be horrible at returning phone calls and emails. The last couple nights Cowboy has been out, so Ive just been sitting on facebook, zoned out on the tv, taking baths, etc, and I’ve gotten to have chats with people back in Nanaimo who are missing me something awful. It makes my heart sore to think of how many people I’ve left behind.

To be honest, If I could take everyone I love from Nanaimo and plunk them in Edmonton, it would be perfect. I’ve began to fall in love with this city I call home now. I love this small town in a big city feel. I love the quirky shops on Whyte Ave. I love walking to work all bundled up with my cute white cap on, wrapped up in a scarf. I always know theres a fresh coffee waiting for me when I get there. What I miss about my hometown however, is coffee trips with Mike where I always had a green tea latte instead of a coffee. I miss walking the waterfront with Dayne, I miss Rock Band parties at my sister’s place. I miss quilting with my mom and crafting with Kara. I miss the Christmas panto at the Bailey Studio. I miss visiting my chiropractor who drove the old VW bug, I miss spending hours at a time at the piercing studio because I knew my piercers so well.

Speaking of piercings, Im really missing all my old piercings. I miss my nip ones, and really my microdermals as well. Cowboy and I went to the peelers on Friday with a bunch of guys from his apprenticeship class, and one of them had breasts very similar to how mine looked pre-surgery. Her nipples were pierced and it realllllyy made me miss mine. Now that I’m all healed up I’m looking into getting them both redone – in the hopes that sensitivity will come back even an eeensy weeensy bit. I miss feeling sexy with my breasts, and I miss feeling them in general. A friend of mine had hers done about 10 years ago, and she claims her feeling came back, but no such luck with mine this far. Im wondering if getting re-pierced will help me claim back some of my sexuality, and perhaps a bit of sensation.

Cowboy is going back to work after a short break for his schooling. He goes to NAIT for two months out of the year for his apprenticeship, and so going back to school is going to help things a lot. I couldnt believe how stressed out I’ve been for the last few months. Now that this period is soon over, I can’t wait to get back on track. I guess wintertime just isnt for me. Now that it’s warming up an eensy bit, maybe our luck is improving. Just maybe.

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