Getting Where We’re Headed

30 Dec 2009 1 Comment

by magpiesandcowboys in Uncategorized

I find it difficult to make up my mind sometimes. I mentioned in my post yesterday how I feel stuck in two places of my life.

I’ve discovered that a lot of people in my life are having babies. A lot of people in my age range. Often this seems a little confusing. You see, my sister is nine years older than I am. She got married in October 2008, and has been wishing and wanting for a child for a few years now. She’s frequently asked when her and her husband are going to have children, and I can see how much she wants to have one. During our chats she often tells me that they aren’t financially ready, and I can really tell that it kills her. My sister just turned 28, and sometimes I wonder if she’s panicking about perhaps having children too late in her life.  It seems odd to me that so many women my age are having children and just giddy about it, and here my sister is almost a generation older – and childless.

Back when people lived to what we call middle-aged and were considered elderly, women got married at 13 or 14. To us nowadays, that would be considered ridiculous. But the body is made to reproduce. That’s why when puberty hits it’s nature yelling at you to make babies. Now, I’m not condoning being sexually active at a very young age. But what I’m getting at here is that it’s no surprise people my age are having babies. My sister and I call it “baby fever” – different spurts of time in which you just crave having children. All you want is a baby. And you see babies everywhere. I’m going through baby fever. My sister is going through baby fever. Half the people I know are going through it.

This year I’ve been thinking of all the things I want to accomplish. Things I want Cowboy and I to accomplish together. The problem is that I can’t figure it all out. So many things I want to happen say.. in the next one or two years. Realistically I know that all the things I want to happen are not going to happen in the next year or so. Some things are three, four, five years away and I am impatient. What sucks is that a lot of what’s holding us back is money. I’ve read a lot of blogs over the Christmas holidays, and I found one a new husband wrote about his quest to save up a down payment for a home. One of his suggestions was to give up EVERYTHING  you don’t need, as well as pick up a weekend job – putting everything you earn with the 2nd job into savings. It makes a lot of sense, but I have a really hard time denying Cowboy things. Which is probably why he plays hockey year round, and got a new vehicle. One of my major sources of stress is trying to find the money to pay for his hockey leagues (summer and winter), and I know it wouldn’t be pretty for that to have to be something he gave up.

I guess what I’m saying here is that I’m trying to be patient. We have a lot of time together and ahead of us, and I know the things we want to accomplish will happen eventually. Any suggestions on how keep a little more patient?

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